The movie Scott Pilgrim vs. The World proved to be an interesting movie. What I first took to be another cliched teen love story is in reality a wonderful coming of age movie. Sort of.
The main character Scott spends most of the movie fighting to win the heart of Ramona, his dream girl. When I say fighting, I mean literally hand to hand combat. He has to defeat Ramona's seven evil ex's. Talk about truthful. How many of us have to defeat the past of the one they are pursuing in order to have even the slightest of shots at them? Scott has a couple other challenges in the movie, first he is still recovering from his last serious relationship and to help himself cope he has started dating a girl much younger than himself. When he meets Ramona he has a girl friend that he doesn't want to break up with because it will be hard and he hasn't dealt with being left by his ex. Scott is very self conscious about everything he does, he lacks any sort of self confidence except when fighting for Ramona. Subsequently he ends up losing sight of himself in the process of trying to win her heart. In the final battle against Ramona's super-ex, who it turns out Ramona pined after for a long time before he gave her any attention, Scott is defeated by the fact that he is not fighting for the right reasons. When he realizes this and is first able to defeat his own past mistakes, loves, and heartbreaks he is able to gain self-respect and do something for himself. This gives him the confidence to defeat the final ex and win Ramona's heart.
There are a lot of twists that kept the movie interesting and you should really watch it to get the full effect. Non-gamers beware there are some reference to video games that might escape you until the end but the ending is worth it.
So why am I posting about a movie? Because like most things in the world I believe there is a lesson to be learned, or rather four. Each lesson applies to people at different stages in life. First is for those who wish for love to seek them out. Let go of the past. Don't make everyone have to fight to win your heart. New people in your life are just that NEW! It is unfair of us to judge them or have expectations of them based on how we have been treated in the past. It is scary as hell but there is something scarier, not getting to know someone out of fear. Most people will recognize in themselves a "fight or flight" response to things that they are afraid of. But when we chose flight we let fear defeat us. My personal fear is of letting someone in close enough that they could hurt me again. My past tells me to close off and not allow others in but my faith and my heart tell me to open up. Can we truly know what love is without knowing heartbreak? I don't think so. So as scary as it is I do it, true it takes me longer than it used to but that is fine, sometimes being an open book to new people leads us to jump in with both feet and who knows what lie at the bottom. Sometimes its a bear trap waiting to snap shut on us. But we can't let the fear of "what if" stop us from letting others in. Having spent a decent amount of time closed off I can tell you it is a dark and cold existence. Don't go there.
The second lesson is for those who are seeking to love someone else. Own up to your past mistakes. This is much the same as the lesson for those who wish to be loved. I am great at not doing this. None of us like to own up to our mistakes in relationship. It is a defense mechanism that we use to keep ourselves safe. We know that if we admit to a mistake then guess what we failed, they didn't fail us we failed them. My big mistake was taking my love to the level of worship and losing who I was in the relationship. This is an unhealthy way to live. So once again I say quit living in the past and move forward. And again I struggle at times to do this out of my understanding that the past makes us who we are today. Who we are today though isn't who we were. And someone will love us for who we are today, scars and all.
With this lesson comes the third. Don't make the same mistake twice. A mistake is no longer a mistake when you learn from it. My friend Aaron says it like this "If you make easy mac with Kool-aid and it doesn't taste good are you going to make it that way again?" The logical response is no. Why don't we apply this to our relationships then? Well I have a theory about that as well. (In case my readers haven't realized this yet I have a lot of ideas about life) Fear of the unknown prevents us from making those changes. A pain we know is easier to handle than a pain we don't know. But guess what the definition of insanity is this "doing the same thing over and over expecting different results." So don't make your mac and cheese with Kool-aid any more. Change the recipe and stop being insane.
The final lesson I can take from this movie is this. Face what is difficult. As I said in the rundown Scott is dating a high school girl when the movie starts. Knives falls hard for him about the time he meets Ramona, and Scott doesn't want to own up to the fact that he cheats on Knives with Ramona. When he then leaves Knives she becomes his first evil ex and seeks revenge on Ramona who didn't do anything to her. When Scott finally faces the conflict of telling both girls the truth Knives' hatred for Ramona is defeated and Scott gains even more self confidence. So face your conflicts and don't let fear of anything stop you.
Fear of being hurt is a difficult fear to overcome. I have personal experience with that. When we do start to face it and defeat it though the fear shrinks away and disappears. Like the shadow in the bedroom at night, as soon as you turn on the light you see that all you were afraid of is a coat on the door. I have been working lately to defeat this fear in myself. The more it shrinks away the more I feel powerful and confident. Not everyone will let you in or be someone you can love but when I wasn't facing my fear of being alone it cause me to push people away or demand much of them and that left me alone all the more. So let new people be new, test the waters and see how much you can give them. Don't make them defeat your past before that happens, face your own past and take away its power.
Peace and Grease
No comments:
Post a Comment